Food, Glorious Food!

For many years these three words have often been associated with the opening song of the famous 1960’s musical, Oliver. This uplifting introduction to one of the most successful musicals of our time, was sung by the orphaned boys as they dreamt and fantasized of food more appetizing than the gruel served to them in the workhouse - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly7PONiKGUs

However, ‘Food, Glorious Food’ has since been reborn into a brand new TV series, in which its creation has led to media frenzy with the focus mainly directed on the man producing it. Here’s a clue to who he is – he’s known to the nation as the ‘King of Television’…

Still clueless?

If so, it’s hardly surprising - even I was shocked when I saw his name featured in an article on a  programme which focuses on food. Never in a million years would you associate him with a cookery show; here’s another clue from a recent newspaper headline – ‘Bake Off meets The X Factor’… 

Yes people, it appears Simon Cowell has got bored of Gary Barlow clashing with Louis Walsh and Tulisa’s wardrobe malfunctions and having seen the success ratings of ‘The Great British Bake Off’, he has decided to jumped on the bandwagon of culinary entertainment.

This new show will launch on our screens next week - open to anybody with a passion for food, the contestants from up and down the nation will be tasked with cooking their favourite dish, which they’ve either invented or comes from a recipe passed down through the generations. The winning dish will then appear on the shelves in Marks and Spencer’s stores across the country (alongside the 100% British Beef products) and the winner will also receive a nice £20,000 cash prize. This is a great way of encouraging people into the kitchens to cook and celebrate the dishes they love, but hang on, this is Simon Cowell - there’s got to be a twist?! Being a ‘Simon Cowell production’, there is always an entertainment factor to draw in the viewers’ attention. In this case, each recipe will be accompanied with a back story, and you can put your money on it involving tales of tragedy and triumph –a theme which seems to run across any programme produced by Cowell.

First things first, let’s meet the knowledgeable and experienced panel of experts who will be putting these dishes under tough scrutiny and decide who goes through to the big final. With Simon Cowell's alter ego, Paul Hollywood and the 'Queen of Baking', Mary Berry both signed to 'The Great British Bake Off' and Delia Smith, having recently quit television after refusing to 'entertain the nation' - clearly Simon's "charm factor" failed on her, I was a little intrigued as to who would feature in his  line-up?? 

So here we go, brace yourself - “It’s the FGF judges”: Carol Vorderman – a woman is known for her genius mathematical brain on Countdown and who also holds a permanent position on ‘The Rear Of The Year List’. However, although she has a canny resemblance to Nigella, Carol maybe a goddess in many ways but in the kitchen, she is not, having recently admitted to burning baked beans on a regular occasion - so how will she tell the difference between undercooked, cooked and overcooked (unless it appears cremated)? Did she mention this small trifle to Mr Cowell when he recently signed her up to his new show which is, ahem, all about food. Luckily for her and the nation,  co-star Loyd Grosman might be able to give her some tips – a man who, in a previous lifetime presented Masterchef before it was revamped with John Torode and Gregg Wallace, who bought in the melodramatics, featuring in particular, their favourite saying "cooking doesn’t get tougher than this". Grossman is also well-known for his jarred cooking sauces, which have sold over a billion since 2008 – it’s comforting so far to see at least someone in this show has a little knowledge of food. Though with him, I'm glad to say, comes good company, with other fellow judges being WI chairman, Anne Harrison, owner of Beehive Bakery and Masterchef finalist Stacie Stewart and finally, Tom Parker Bowles – renowned food writer and editor, who’s most recent book ‘Let’s Eat’ has received glowing reviews. 

Unfortunately, Simon himself won’t be making an appearance on screen, though I would argue the image of him in a pinny would've provided a high degree of entertainment which would do credit to the programme’s ratings. However, his influence is said to be apparent throughout the show - a lover of comfort food dishes and good, honest cooking, he claims not to be looking for the country’s next best chef, but instead, one brilliant home-cooked recipe that the nation will fall madly in love with. His standards will be high and are apparently based on his own mother’s recipes – rumour has it, Mother Cowell’s roasties are VERY hard to beat.

So once, again the nation will be glued to their television screens with what is promised to be another nail biting culinary entertainment series – make sure you tune in to see Loyd swooning over Carol Vorderman and WI leader, Anne telling baker, Stacie how to make the perfect Victoria Sponge – like all of Simon Cowell’s productions, rivalry ignites amongst the judges as well as the contestants.

‘Food Glorious Food’ starts Wednesday 27^th March, ITV1 at 8pm

Phrase for photography: Glorious Food, Metro, www.justsimoncowell.com, ITV